Never surrender!

"And to all who suffer—to all who feel discouraged, worried, or lonely—I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in.

Never surrender.

Never allow despair to overcome your spirit."

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

This week has been restless. I don't post this to have pity on Hailee, but rather, to talk myself through what is going on in my brain. I have laid awake till 1 or 2 or 3 every night this week trying to figure out what is going on in my brain. I'm stressed about school....it hasn't even started yet. I am worried about my health, how can I work 29 hours at the elementary school, 20 hours at the restaurant and do 15 credit hours in school? I can't. I've accepted that it is ridiculous for me to expect so much from myself. That is so hard, and it isn't healthy.

Now that I've convinced myself that quitting the restaurant is the right thing to do, I just have to muster up the courage to do it. When I first intended to quit on Monday, I caved and gave them an "I need less hours talk"...but ever since then I have been up, all night, every night...all because I'm struggling with the thought of having to do so much work. It's stressful, hectic, crazy....I hardly have time to myself. I work 2 jobs most days, sometimes 3...then throw the thought of school in there and I'M FREAKIN OUT.

So..my solution? To quit my job (I know I already said that...this is me still convincing myself to quit. I never give up this easily. But, for my personal well being, my spiritual well being and my emotional well being, I must give up. So why the quote if I'm giving up? Because I'm not giving up on what's most important. The despair that I feel currently is overcoming my spirit, and there are things that I can change to fix that. I will survive on my budget from my Elementary School job and tutoring and be just fine. Everything will be okay. It will be better than okay, I'm very fortunate-I realize this. So, I'm not surrendering, this is me NOT surrendering to the terrible atmosphere at my job, the bad attitude it gives me and the stress it puts me through. I'm overcoming it.

This is me, not giving in, not surrendering and not allowing despair to overcome my spirit.